Sea Change
Comments about Life's Social Aspects

Two unrecruited explorers stare
at the sky and -- having nothing
better to do -- decide that one
of them is a philosopher and
the other, a psychologist. 

Come here, Joan, Joan, please come here!

Oh, come on now, Joan! Come!

I don't get it. What does she want? Her tone seems to mean she wants something from me, but what is it?

Here Joan, here Joan.

What is she talking about? Of course I'm here.

OK, come on. Now...SIT. No, no, no. I don't want to pet you right now. That comes after you sit. Can you sit for me Joan? Just like this. See how Mom is sitting?

Of course I can see. What do you think, I'm blind?

Look, the word "sit" means I sit down like this. See?

OK, good. Now all you have to do is stay there for just a sec, wait till I can get over there and you can scratch me. OK. Here I am, now...scratch.

Honey, why are you wagging your tail like that? This isn't play time, it's learn obedience time. Learn training! Learn discipline! Now you stay right there. I'm going to get up and go right over here. Stay...stay...stay...

What the hell am I staying for? What's in it for me? If I stay here, I'm by myself. If I go over there where she is, I can get a scratch and maybe a biscuit. I don't know, tough decision. Hasn't she learned by now what my priorities are? Food, scratch, sleep, poop. Its pretty simple. Learning isn't one of them, as far as I can tell.

OK...Come Joan. Come on girl.

Here I go. She thinks I'm coming to be good but I smell that biscuit in her hands. I know it's there.

Good Girl! Good girl. Let me pet you. Yes, yes, good girl. Here, wanna biscuit? Yummy for Joan. Yummy! That's it.

Finally, biscuit time! I've suffered enough of this sit-stay stuff. Time to eat!! Time to get on with my priorities.

Joan, Joan pay attention now. See this ball? See it Joan? OK, go get it. Fetch Joan, fetch!

Somebody please tell me what is the point to this. She throws the ball, I run after it and bring it back. Where's the obedience in this? I think I'm missing it. Besides, I'm getting sleepy. I've been up for at least an hour. It's nap time. Hasn't she learned by now I need a nap at least every hour? What's the matter with this woman?

Go on Joan, go get it.

Might as well. Then she'll give me another biscuit anyway. I think I've got this system pretty well worked out. Next she'll want me to sit again. A couple good sits and then I can nap and she'll go clean the house or something. It's getting pretty dirty lately. Maybe if I go shake and roll a few times on the carpet she'll want to vacuum up the hair. Yeah, that usually works. She's pretty predictable. Or maybe better yet she'll make me some food or cook dinner and I'll get the scraps!

OK Joan, SIT!

See? I know her like the back of my paw.

Oh look Joan, Dad's home from work. There's Daddy Joan.

Another set of hands for a scratch. Maybe if I look pathetic enough, both of them will scratch me at the same time. If pathetic doesn't work, cute gets 'em everytime. Four hands, oh boy!

Sites of Related Interest

EMMA'S ELECTRONIC KENNEL
The Dog Obedience and Training Page

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